I walked furiously from office to home yesterday. With angry tears, I prayed in my head and was totally shocked at the evil thought that lurked within me.
I wanted someone killed. He's been giving my family a problem for a number of times now. I couldn't bear the thought of losing any of my family members to this non-sense, desperate guy! Surely, I can afford to pay for his life. Oh, gosh. I never imagined I would have such a murderous thought!
This crazy guy made a scary hostage-taking kind of drama in our home. He held my sister in the neck, dragged her around, with a knife few inches away from her. My trembling mother, grandmother, nephew, cousins and other people who were there tried to help, but surely fear and the shock of the moment had overtaken them.
The stupid, incompetent police who was called for help didn't respond because he said it seemed "peaceful" already and that he didn't want to get involved with a family problem! Goodness! How on earth?!? I wished to give him a good slap in the face if I was there!
Things are better now at home. Thank God, my family is safe and the crazy guy promised not to do it and never to bother my sister again (who broke up with him).
I cried my heart out as I thought about all the trauma my family had to go through. I wanted to eliminate the man for me to feel secure for my family! Sending him to prison is no guarantee that he is locked forever. As I prayed, my sinful heart was exposed. I was reminded that
Somone had already paid for our lives at the highest cost. Jesus died for every one of us so that we may know God and have eternal life. He's giving all of us second chances. He died for each one of us -
and that includes the guy that I wanted dead and punished.
I have no right to take away his life because Jesus had already paid the price. I can only trust and commit everything to Him. I can pray that God would change his heart. I can pray that God would keep my family safe.
This beautiful passage rebuked me, hushed me down and captivated my soul. I asked for forgiveness. It made my heart quiet, at peace, and grateful. Such a timely reminder as we celebrate Good Friday. I submit to the God who never fails.
"He was looked down on and passed over, a man who suffered,
who knew pain firsthand.One look at him and people turned away...
But the fact is, it was our pains he carried— our disfigurements, all the things wrong with us...
it was our sins that did that to him, that ripped and tore and crushed him—our sins!
He took the punishment, and that made us whole.
Through his bruises we get healed.
We're all like sheep who've wandered off and gotten lost...
God has piled all our sins, everything we've done wrong, on him, on him.
He was beaten, he was tortured, but he didn't say a word.
Like a lamb taken to be slaughtered
and like a sheep being sheared, he took it all in slence.
He died without a thought for his own welfare, beaten bloody for the sins of my people...
He'd never hurt a soul or said one word that wasn't true.
Still, it's what God had in mind all along, to crush him with pain.
The plan was that he give himself as an offering for sin so that he'd see life come from it...
Through what he experienced, my righteous one, my servant,
will make many "righteous ones,"
he looked death in the face and didn't flinch...
he took on his own shoulders the sin of the many,
he took up the cause of all the black sheep.
Isaiah 53:3-12 (The Message)